Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
