O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
