So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
