im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
