I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
