dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
