I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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