And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
