evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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