i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize