let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Terrible idea I love it
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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