he shaved USA in his pubs
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
