: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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