3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
