oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
