drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
