Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
