I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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