I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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