Define "chronic" masturbator.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
