Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My vagina is officially offended.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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