Can Purell be used as lube?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
