I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
