So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I believe in your delicious
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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