He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
