you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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