so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
