i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
