85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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