margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
