Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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