You made me cry and you don't even care
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
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