It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am midnight drunk by noon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize