Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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