please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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