I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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