ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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