Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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