I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
