You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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