Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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