Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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