PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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