He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
