I'm drive I can fine osifer
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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