Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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