Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
