I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
