Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
