no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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