At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
