So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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