one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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