As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
