in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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