How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
