Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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