Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize