apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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