Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
