This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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