I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize