I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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