It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
