The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize