we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The ass gains better be worth it
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