He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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