well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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