So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
