I need to stop coming to work sober
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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