i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
