what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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