this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
