thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
