their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
