summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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